When talking to prospective clients, I will pretend to be enthusiastic about the product itself, acting as though it’s made of the nectar of the gods itself—that is, until I can invite them to a “party.” Once at this party (aka, hard-core sales pitch), of course, I will not spend more than 2-3 minutes max talking about the product (which is irrelevant to this business) but instead will focus almost entirely on why they’re really here; so they can quit the career they spent their whole life investing in based on the hope of making 6 figures per month by selling my $1 product for $99 to others, and show them all the cool stuff, trips and attention they will get by making that very intelligent choice to throw away their entire livelihood over my flawed business mode.

On top of this, I will con each promoter into locking themselves in with me as a distributor for at least 3 years by offering them money for a lease on a new BMW. They will see it as a “free car” instead of what it truly is; a ball-and-chain that guarantees that they continue promoting the product for me lest they lose their “perk” of me paying them for their lease, in which case they are stuck with a 3 year lease that they now have to pay off on their own.

I will encourage these promoters to use fake testimonials of people that they don’t know who may or may not even use the product at all, in an attempt to con every person they know under the sun to buy this $1 product for $99 per month (or more, depending on how much of a sucker they are). My main supporting argument to the legitimacy of my business will be to point out that a bunch of has-been d-list celebrities and benched professional athletes who are desperate for money have stooped to associating themselves with my product, and since they are affiliated with it, it HAS TO BE GOOD!

My primary means of recruitment will be to talk about how fast my company is growing, completely ignoring the concept of market saturation and limited demand. Instead, I will stress that all the cool people are making tons of money by promoting my $1 product for $99 or more per month, and that if you don’t get on now you will miss out. After all, all successful companies like Walmart, Apple, Albertsons, McDonalds etc have to convince applicants that they better “hurry” or they will miss out on making any money by working for the company. Likewise, all successful industries such as the financial industry, the legal industry and the medical industry are so short-lived that people who go into them must be prepared to “cash in” as quickly as possible or miss out on the opportunity.

Oh wait, Visalus already beat me to it. Fuck.

This place has the best pizza I’ve ever had… hand’s down.  You can get a large pizza with FOURTEEN toppings for $12… and it’s frikken delicious.  I just had to post about this place, it’s amazing and the owner is super cool!

Here is the container as it opens…

The finished product: PURE AWESOMENESS!

Chomp Lobster at Instant French Restaurant-To-Go Prefabbed From Shipping Container.

Mighty Foods – Trend: Secret Menus Jamba Juice.

I love sites that uncover cool things like this… I knew about the In-and-Out secret menu but had no idea that Jamba Juice offered a huge secret menu as well!